On the coup

I just don’t understand this western media, why are they portraying us as barbarians and dictators, this is ridiculous, can’t they see that the previous governments were just a bunch of corrupt inept nincompoops that were running this country into the ground with their incessant infighting, corruption, populist policies, Thailand is a beautiful country with a potentially great future and I just don’t want to see it ruined. It’s just strange that we are the barbarians, we are gentler than the Chinese in Tienanmen, the American troops that killed students at Kent State and the Brits and Europeans who murder each other in hundreds at football stadiums…

On foreign investors & the stock market
Foreign investors and businesses are incredibly important, Thailand cannot live isolated in this global world and economy, and I understand that. I shall do my best to coax them back with soothing words and promises and thankfully the Japanese are continuing to invest in our country. These investors are very different from my military mindset, they care not about morality nor about the democratic process nor any process for that matter as long as there is order and profits. We will give them want they want because we must have their knowledge and money, it is not a question of democratic process but of our country’s survival, and hey if I can pull this off maybe I’ll buy some stocks myself…

On journalists
Oh how I miss the days of being in charge of the military when I shout a command the entire brigade follows my every command. Why can’t these damn journalists just follow my instructions and not write anything damning about me nor my government? I can’t help but to just shake my head. I am working so hard to restore internal stability and confidence in Thailand that even my wife is complaining I’m not spending enough time at home anymore. It’s just tiring and frustrating dealing with these journos to the point where I hinted at threats to their lives, but they don’t understand me! It was just a joke! I’m just a humble military man that became fed up with these corrupt politicians ruining this beautiful country. I just don’t understand why the journalists don’t see it that way. However Mao was correct when he said “political power grows out of the barrel of a gun” and that “those who wield pens must be controlled.” Oh damn it I have to go to another press conference…

That Bangkok Governor
Two weeks ago Bangkok was hit hard by floods, and then this Bangkok Governor comes out and says something stupid “if you don’t like the floods then go to the mountains” or something like those lines. Didn’t we implement flood controls since 2011? What have they been doing?! If I could have my way I’d send him to a month’s lock up in the army barracks, alas I can’t anymore, I’m growing fed up of these politicians, maybe I should stay longer in charge to cleanse this corrupt system…

Disclaimer: This obviously isn’t his diary and is purely written for my own sad comedic purposes.